


A Jones For Trouble

by JordannaMorgan



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Gen, Movie Reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 14:45:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9496274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JordannaMorgan/pseuds/JordannaMorgan
Summary: Of all the chimeras Ed had faced, this one was the most annoying.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KristenSharpe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KristenSharpe/gifts).



> Title: A Jones For Trouble  
> Author: Jordanna Morgan  
> Archive Rights: Please request the author’s consent.  
> Rating/Warnings: G.  
> Characters: Edward, Alphonse, and an OC chimera.  
> Setting: General.  
> Summary: Of all the chimeras Ed had faced, this one was the most annoying.  
> Disclaimer: They belong to Hiromu Arakawa. I’m just playing with them.  
> Notes: Kristen Sharpe suggested this as a fill for the prompt word “Lever” at Fan Flashworks. I ended up going with a different story to fill the prompt, but I thought the idea was still too amusing not to write.

* * *

Edward Elric had encountered some nasty chimeras during his career as a State Alchemist. Sooner or later, the mad scientists he investigated _usually_ let loose a kennel full of hideous guard-beasts that wanted to eat him, or give him a venomous bite, or just tear him to pieces. If nothing else, these creatures were the number-one reason why he kept having to replace his coat.

But of all the chimeras he had faced, this one was decidedly the most… _annoying_.

“You’ll _never_ get past me to the Creator! Nothing can stop him! The Creator will _crush_ you!”

The being from whom this crazed mantra issued forth was a human-monkey fusion: a gangly, hairy little man, with a long tail and bare feet that ended in prehensile toes. Sometime in the past, he was probably an assistant of the shady alchemist Ed was sent to take into custody—until he became a _test subject_ instead. It was even money whether he’d been driven insane by the transmutation, or had just always been that way.

At the present moment, he was blocking Ed’s path in a corridor, bobbing around as he raised his hands and feet in various elaborate—and very bad—imitations of martial-arts movements.

Ed really didn’t have time for this.

Heaving a sigh, he clapped his hands and touched the floor. A trail of blue light raced from his fingers, and the concrete erupted beneath the monkey-man, shooting up in the shape of a square pillar that caught him and carried him skyward. In the next moment, the wildly posturing idiot was a wildly _flailing_ idiot, pinned at the stomach between pillar and ceiling with all five limbs (tail included) dangling in midair.

“ _I don’t like showoffs_ ,” Ed announced sternly, and proceeded to stride past the pillar—completely ignoring the outraged, thrashing figure who continued to rain down delusional threats.

Behind him, Alphonse Elric slowly shook his helmet before clattering along in his elder sibling’s wake.

“But Brother… you _are_ a showoff.”

* * *

_2017 Jordanna Morgan_


End file.
